Destinations.

Melbourne.
    Isn't she lovely and full of surprises?

Paris.
     I learnt French once, people looked down and laughed at me.
     "Where on earth is that alien language going to help you?"

     "Oh, ladies and gentlemen, laugh away!
      My heart settled for the beauty of the language,
      and I'll set my foot there one day,
      whispering my dreams to Louvre and NotreDame."

Netherlands.
     Hoping memories to live,
     and all the love they've shared with me.

Greece.
    A wish to see a long-lost penfriend,
    I hope it won't be too late by then.

London.
    Ssshh, let me tell you a little secret,
    I've got this thing for blokes with British accent..

and maybe from Heathrow, I'll fly back to home, where I left my heart..

About Abuse

It's a big word, isn't it? Abuse. As a kid, I thought abuse was relevant only when there's blood involved, and it's a bad, bad thing to do. As I grew up, of course, I learned more from newspapers, tv and other media and eventually collected various perspectives. Not that I was an arts student of psychology, I was simply interested and I was and am still an avid audience of tv shows such as CSI, Criminal Minds, Law&Order, and the likes. Still, doesn't make me bulletproof.

I bumped into this article earlier today on the news website and made me ponder. These issues are still taken lightly into account in this modern world and even in developed countries. Let alone third world and developing countries, like where I grew up and live for twenty six years, yet the impact is massive on one person's life.

Born and raised as a minority in a country I love dearly and call home- both in religion and ethnic, made me an easy target. Sexual, verbal, emotional, and/or power abuse is something considered common and when it happened, it happened, period.When it comes to someone we know of, we helped, we comforted, but none of significant actions taken. And me, just like the others that falls in the same minority groups, has nothing to say but grateful that those gruesome events didn't happen to us, yet. And there once I thought, justice only served on those tv shows or somewhere on the other side of the world, while looking at our severely crippled justice system.

I have never been able to say anything about myself being sexually harassed, but here I am writing about it now. Some people might say, you didn't get raped or anything near that, so why bother speaking up? I've learned that anything done to me without my consent was and always an abuse. Abusive experience takes you into a deep black hole and could take away anyone's life anytime. And no, I won't take any accusations saying it's my responsible to take care of my very self and I could've prevent it to happen. It was just the wrong perception I've swallowed over the past years, because some people suggested me that route instead. I've also learned how I've been emotionally abused after I walked out from a long-term relationship. After. Because when no one takes it seriously, no one will ever even think it's too powerful and too destructive.

And let me say now, I'm just one of many survivors out there.

Mari Bermain Rasa

Prosa singkat pendamping pameran :
'Mari Bermain Rasa' oleh Ivan Christianto.
Casa by Bravacasa  - The Ritz Carlton Jakarta, Agustus 2011

Menggagas ide dan mencipta karya, menyajikan hangat-hangat dan menikmati sedikit gemerincing pundi-pundi. Macam inikah hidup perancang setelah era modernisasi?

Lama-lama memuakkan.
Membosankan. 
Mematikan.

Onggokan kayu-kayu menatap tajam dan menjerit; metropolitan sudah kian terik, tuan.
Cepat-cepat tambahkan umur kami!

Baiklah, pikir sang perancang, biar kebosanan ini menjadi milik semua orang.

Lalu dimulailah orkestra mesin pemotong.

---

Nafasnya hampir habis ditelan arus kejemuan, saat perahu merah jambu mengajaknya serta.

Mari, kata nona dalam perahu, aku perlu seorang pendayung lagi, katanya lagi; tak kuasa diri sendiri melawan arus.

Mengapa melawan arus?, tanya sang perancang sambil mulai mendayung. Arus kencang kian terasa ringan. Mencari duniaku, sahut sang nona. Dunia pemberi nyawa? tanya sang perancang kembali. Nona di dalam perahu menoleh tak percaya. Kau juga?

Bagai nyala api dihembus angin, keduanya seakan terbakar hebat. Kayuhan semakin padu, perahu merah jambu terpacu menuju hulu.

---

Arus kian tenang, hingga tak lagi dirasa beban. Samar tergambar tujuan para pendayung. Di atas perahu, napak tilas sang perancang berbuah manis, berkunjung ke taman yang nyata menghidupi si mesin penggagas.

Taman yang mengajar bahwa hidup tak harus didikte oleh manusia-manusia (sok) penikmat, atau para pencipta masal penunggu gunungan pundi. Tak harus pula cerlang gemilang bak kolam emas.

Hidup layaknya cerita adalah sajian sejuta rasa gegap gempita, disusul titik-titik kristal bening, serta sejumput keheningan.

Nikmatilah. Hargailah. Bermainlah.

Satu Dekade

Sepuluh tahun lalu, saya melewatkan malam-malam menjelang minggu perdana memulai hari-hari perkuliahan dengan menulis puisi-puisi patah hati gara-gara sahabat yang juga sekaligus 'cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan' versi saya saat itu akan pindah ke kota ini. Tujuh tahun setelah puisi-puisi romansa tentang malam dan bintang, dan mimpi-mimpi tentang menemukan cinta lama bak di novel-novel roman, keajaiban turun, dan saya pun tiba di kota yang sama. 

Saya kembali jatuh cinta. Tentu bukan pada sahabat yang sudah tak bisa disebut lagi sahabat, karena kami hampir tak pernah bersua! Hati saya tertambat pada salah satu kota di 'benua bawah' ini.

Kota itu, Melbourne, namanya. Menurut The Economist pertengahan tahun 2011 lalu, ia berada di puncak daftar kota yang paling layak ditinggali di seluruh dunia. Alasannya? Tentu tak jauh-jauh dari rendahnya jumlah penduduk, akses jaminan kesehatan yang sangat baik, dan juga kualitas dan sistem pendidikan yang menjadikan Australia salah satu tujuan yang sangat diminati untuk pendidikan lanjut dan tentu saja, peluang untuk tinggal dan menetap di negara maju.

Buat saya yang otak kanannya lebih dominan dan lekat dengan seni dan segala yang indah-indah, Melbourne menyodorkan ekstasi yang membuat ketergantungan. Bangunan-bangunan dari tahun 1800-1900an hampir semuanya masih berdiri tegak tanpa cacat yang berarti. Kalaupun sudah berubah fungsi, eksteriornya sangat dijaga agar tetap baik dan jelas terlihat detailnya. Festival musik dan seni berlangsung sepanjang tahun, begitu juga festival budaya dari kelompok-kelompok imigran dari seluruh penjuru dunia. Taman-taman dirawat begitu rupa sehingga setiap cuaca cukup cerah dan bersahabat, rumput hijau penuh oleh orang-orang berpiknik, membaca buku, atau sekedar berbaring menikmati suasana alam. Dan saya belum berbagi tentang lezatnya makanan otentik dari seluruh penjuru dunia yang tersaji di Melbourne! 

Tentu saja tidak ada yang seratus persen sempurna. Biaya hidup di Australia cukup tinggi, apalagi melihat mata uang Australia yang terus menanjak dan berada di atas dolar Amerika. Pada umumnya orang lokal cukup bersahabat, namun tentu ada juga pengalaman yang kurang menyenangkan. Tapi secara pribadi, saya sangat menikmati tinggal di kota ini selama (hampir) tiga tahun terakhir.

Dan ketika mengingat bahwa malam-malam penuh puisi romansa itu sudah lewat satu dekade lalu, tersadarlah saya betapa waktu sungguh cepat berlalu. :)

Choir Fix

It's not that difficult to get my caffeine fix, or even my favourite cupcake fix from Little Cupcakes down the infamous Degraves St. But recently, I'm craving for my choir fix. At this point, you might think, "what the?"

As far as I can remember, I've been singing since my sunday school years - let's say, 5-6 years old. We (me and my sunday school buddies) performed for a Christmas celebration. Since then I started to develop a genuine passion for singing. Somehow I passed the audition at my junior high school for a prestigious national choir competition. Dedicated Sundays for practices and rehearsals, even skipped classes on school days (authorized by teachers, of course, since we were about to win something for the school! haha). Oh how I miss those days! (we came out second place, btw) I did joined senior high school's choir, but didn't manage to continue singing with them because I was struggling with my studies and teen issues at that moment. (teen issues?!)

I was then a regular member of my church's vocal groups and choirs. Performed some of the most memorable musicals, recorded an EP, had local tours, and even though it's five or six or seven years ago, the tunes are still well kept in my head. Sometimes it plays itself and I found myself humming to them. (No it's not the ipod, I don't even have one). When I left my hometown for down under I joined my church's choir here during my first year, and did an EP as well with them. Too bad because of work commitments I have to leave my recent choir group. As I'm typing this, I just realized it was quite a history!

I miss seeing choir performances like I did during Asian Choir Games back in 2007. Most of all, I miss being in a choir. 

in memoriam of Voice of Veritas 2002-2010 , its multi-talented coach, as well as its treasured members.

Oh, hello again!

It's March 2012 now, can't believe my own eyes when I saw the timestamp on my computer. My third year living and surviving Melbourne, and my last year enjoying my twenties. Ouch.

Been through so many in the past three years, but surely nothing is passing without markings -if that makes any sense. ha. Leaving my comfort couch, broken off things, wounded and healed, new acquaintances, new bondings, changed perspectives, enjoying every tears and harvesting each hour of my labour hardwork (oh yeah), and still stepping out of my door every day with a million dreams.

If I may say, I'm only on my early stage understanding the universe that evolves around me, and of course my very self. Two quotes I've always read; 'Life begins at thirty' and 'Change is the only constant thing in life', are starting to make sense at this point. Interesting, ey? I am grateful for my past and I acknowledge them as a guide through the future.

Life aside, I've been always a fan of Owl City (yes, the music artist), but recently discovered Adam Young's blog and found how beautiful his writings and reflections on his Christian faith. More reason to be a fan! :)

Ps. Blogger is such a pain with its new layouting tech and whatsoever, so I start cataloging my stuff on http://mymorninglatte.tumblr.com/. I am developing an online folio soon, and this space will remain as it is.. containing my random and too-complicated-thoughts.